cheaters never EVER win….

Ohhh…..don’t cheat around Michael.  In fact…do exactly as you are told or there will be consequences….

Remember we went to the italian restaurant?  Yeah…..that wasn’t so good…for me.  When I showed up for workout, I was told to immediately get on the treadmill.  This time we went all the way………..Yep.  15% incline, and 3.0 mph…..30 minutes.

So you are saying, “Well, 30 minutes isn’t too bad!”  And you are right.  Thirty minutes isn’t bad UNLESS you still have an hour workout ahead of you!!!!  My legs were BURNING!!!

  And I love how he waits until all the other clients have left and then he looks at me and says, “Well, I hope you are ready!”

Eeeeeeeeekk!!  Help!  Somebody!!!!!

So, since I had burning legs and a childs attitude, we started off easy.  (Ok, HE says we started off easy)…

Let’s begin by swinging (or for my southern friends/family) swangin’ the kettlebell.  Oddly enough, he let me use the 10lbs and not the heavier ones.  Well, thank you, Mr. Trainer Man!

Wait for it……..it’s swangin’ back in front right about NOW!

See??  We did these forEVER, and then switched to lunges…..

I’m holding it in front of me like a cute little handbag……in fact, my cute little handbag weighs about the same….(note to self: clean out cute little handbag)

THEN he decides to grab the 2″, 40lb rope for me to swang…

My arms are already burning so I gave him the stink-eye.

In retrospect, maybe I shouldn’t have done that.  Because after I finished with that little exercise, he decided to take it up a notch….

Seriously, Mike???

Yes, seriously, Sandi.  So we did more of that and the stink-eye was gone.  Oh, my peeps, I can’t even remember all the things that he did to me…but the final kicker???

Normally this is NOT the angle that I would want anyone to see, but you have to understand what he did.

He turned the treadmill OFF, told me to put my chest to the bar and run……in other words, make the belt move……..and run FAST….

Sure, I did it…..about a zillion times, bouncing between that and the ARC………so, then there was this….

Yep…..almost heaved right then and there…….(I love that he took a picture of this…)  Later last night I was SOOOO hungry!!  I texted Mike and he told me that my metabolism was on FIRE!  (that’s a good thing)  “NO FOOD!” he said, and told me to get over it and go to sleep.  So I did.

So all in all, it was the hardest workout that I have ever done in my life….and I finished.  

Getting closer to the goal………..

my challenge, day one…

What?  What did you say, you don’t think I can do this??  A challenge?  Oh, it’s on….it’s on like Donkey Kong.

So, here’s the dealio.  Michael Jodscheidt has a gym in Old Town Scottsdale (Jacked by Jodscheidt) and CHALLENGED me to do a SEVEN (that is siete, for my spanish speaking friends) DAY DETOX.

Pffffft……(that is me making a sound that is quite cocky, and also with my hand on my hip)

In retrospect, this is probably a sound I shouldn’t have made…..(although the gesture of my hand on my hip couldn’t be excused because as it turns out, my hip is just OUT THERE) and now I am on a SEVEN DAY DETOX.

HUY!!!  (According to Google Translate, that is spanish for YIKES!)  But I’m game for losing a large amount of tonage.  So I also agreed to let him give me a teeny tiny little workout to go along with the detox.

HUY!!! Ok, what part of teeny tiny did he not get? I thought I was going to die…..but was afraid I wouldn’t!!!!!!  Are you freakin’ kidding me?  I was swinging ropes, pushing weights, rowing and sniveling like a baby girl.

Doesn’t he realize that I have organs swinging around inside of me?  These legs are 52  42…..and my buns??? Shouldn’t we go easy on the buns?  OUCHIE!

What happened to the Jack Lalanne approach?   Jack did those cute little jumping jacks and sometimes touched his toes…..well, people….                                                        Jack is DEAD and Mike is JACKED!!   HUY!!!

Mike has a Victoria Secret workout for the younger women and I’m not entering for any body building competition, so I asked if I could be in a new category…..I’ve decided I want to be scary skinny  (joke, people)

So, I’ve decided to blog the next 6 days of living on power shakes and dirty Tang.  (I’ll explain later)  First we did a weigh in and NO!!  You don’t need to know the start weight because I be embarassed and would have to move to another state.  BUTT…..(pun intended) I will let you know how much fat falls off…..and it will fall off.

So, let’s start with the shakes…

This is the protein shake I’m using with water……I’m drinking this about 5 times a day.  It’s vanilla and pretty yummy.  no complaints.

This is the fruit and veggie supplement that I add to orange juice.  Notice the brand?  Hmm?  That’s Mikey’s.

I use one scoop and add it to some Reduced Sugar Orange Juice.  This is not a bad taste….but it does look like green mud…with Tang added.  Not too bad, if you like green mud….and it turns out that I do.

I’m supposed to add 1 Tablespoon of the flax oil, twice a day, but so far….I forgot.  HUY!!!  (by the way, I hope you aren’t pronouncing the “h”…just the “uy”)

Yep….looks like green mud to me!!

So, it’s time for another shake….and I’m getting a bit of a headache.  Can I do this?

Jimmy is on his way home from Tucson, and he asked me to call Morton’s Steakhouse and save our table…..he doesn’t know about the detox and I just couldn’t burst his bubble.  So, I will go….and I will drink my normal Perrier Water……

The workouts are hard, the trainers are good and the motivation is there.  It’s time…..I would encourage others (misery loves company) to train with me because no one would believe how hard it is unless they are doing it….I’m actually excited to be a part of the program….although once I think I saw him watching me and he tilted his head to one side, squinted his eyes and mumbled, “hmm…how are we going to get THAT off….”

This is going to be a really big challenge……….for both of us!

HUY!!!!

workout…

Want a kick butt treadmill exercise?  AND it will only take you 20 minutes?  AND you don’t have to run, only walk at top speed of 3.5 mph?  YES YOU DO!!!

Here it is….found it a while back and it is a great cardio exercise!

  • Minutes                                    Speed                                       Incline
  • 1                                                     3.0                                              0%
  • 2                                                     3.0                                              0%
  • 3                                                     3.5                                              7%
  • 4                                                      ”                                                  8%
  • 5                                                      ”                                                  9%
  • 6                                                      ”                                                10%
  • 7                                                      ”                                                  7%
  • 8                                                      ”                                                 8%
  • 9                                                      ”                                                 9%
  • 10                                                    ”                                               10%
  • 11                                                    ”                                                  7%
  • 12                                                    ”                                                 8%
  • 13                                                    ”                                                 9%
  • 14                                                    ”                                               10%
  • 15                                                    ”                                                 7%
  • 16                                                    ”                                                 8%
  • 17                                                    ”                                                 9%
  • 18                                                   ”                                                10%
  • 19                                                    ”                                                13%
  • 20                                                  3.0                                               0%

It’s awesome if you don’t use your hands to hold on…..Although I will say that minute 19 is tough without hands!!  Try it!! It’s great and doesn’t take much time!  The easiest way to do this is copy it and tape it to the treadmill because you have to keep watching your time to change the incline.  Let me know!  And if you fall or anything, I have officially declared myself not libel.  So…..FACT.

bootcamp…

REDNECK FARM KID
in the Marine Corps

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well.  Hope you are. Tell Brother  Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps
beats working for old man  by a  mile. Tell them to join up quick before
all of the places are  filled.

I was restless at first because you get  to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I
am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell  Walt and Elmer all you do before
breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some  things.  No hogs to slop, feed to
pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to  lay.
Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad,  there’s warm water. Breakfast is strong
on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal,  eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on
chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried  eggplant, pie and other regular food, but
tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit  by the two city boys that live on
coffee. Their food,  plus yours,  holds you  until noon  when you get fed
again. It’s no wonder  these city boys can’t walk much.

We go on ‘route marches,’ which the  platoon sergeant says are long walks to
harden us.  If he thinks so, it’s not my  place to tell him different.  A ‘route
march’ is about as far as to our mailbox  at home. Then the city guys get sore
feet and we all ride back in  trucks.

The sergeant is like a school teacher.  He nags a lot.  The Captain is like the
school board.  Majors and colonels  just ride around and frown. They don’t
bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with  laughing.  I keep getting medals for
shooting.  I don’t know why..  The  bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head
and don’t move, and it ain’t  shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home.
Al l you got to do is lie there  all comfortable and hit it.  You don’t even
load your own cartridges They come  in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand  combat training.  You get to wrestle
with them city boys.  I have to be real  careful though, they break real easy.
It ain’t like fighting with that ole bull  at home.  I’m about the best they
got in this except for that Tug  Jordan  from  over in Silver  Lake .. I only
beat him once…  He joined up the same time as  me, but I’m only 5’6′ and 130
pounds and he’s 6’8′ and near 300 pounds  dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry  and join before other fellers get onto
this setup and come stampeding  in.

Your loving  daughter,

Alice

(thanks, rea!!)