Tag Archives: prison

Papa and the tomato garden…

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An old gentleman lived  alone in New  Jersey .  He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as  the ground was hard.  His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in  prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his  predicament:

Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year.  I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.  I know if you were here, my troubles would be over.  I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me like in the old days.

Love, Papa

A few days later he  received a letter from his son.

Dear Papa,

Don’t dig up that garden.  That’s where the bodies are buried.

Love, Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next  morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without  finding any bodies.

They apologized to the  old man and left.. That same day the old man received another letter from his  son.

Dear Papa,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.  That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love you, Vinnie

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finally! a prison that understands!

Well, I for one am elated.  I have always worried that I would commit a crime and be sentenced to prison.  Why?  Is it because everyone there would scare me to death?  No.

Is it because of the lack of privacy in EVERY area?  No.

Could it be because I wouldn’t have access to my spa treatments?  YES!  Don’t you just hate it when you get incarcerated and are treated like a….criminal?   But guess what, ladies! Go ahead!!  Commit those crimes!!  You CAN go to prison and still be beautiful.  How?

Well….click here. I found this article and am SO relieved!!  And here I had been NOT committing crimes for years…..all for nothing!  Now….if only we could do something about those horizontal stripes…..

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