Papa and the tomato garden…

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An old gentleman lived  alone in New  Jersey .  He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as  the ground was hard.  His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in  prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his  predicament:

Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year.  I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.  I know if you were here, my troubles would be over.  I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me like in the old days.

Love, Papa

A few days later he  received a letter from his son.

Dear Papa,

Don’t dig up that garden.  That’s where the bodies are buried.

Love, Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next  morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without  finding any bodies.

They apologized to the  old man and left.. That same day the old man received another letter from his  son.

Dear Papa,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.  That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love you, Vinnie

all the rules for a gunfight that you might need to know….

Have a gun has always been the first rule but here are some words to the wise…
Now,  if you own a gun, you will appreciate this.  If not, you should get one and learn how to use it…simple enough.
  1. Guns have two enemies:  rust and politicians
  2. It’s better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6
  3. Cops carry guns to protect themselves, not you
  4. Never let someone or something that threatens you, at arms length
  5. Never say, “I’ve got a gun!”  If you need to use deadly force, the first thing they hear should be the safety clicking off
  6. The average response time of a 911 call is 23 minutes.  The response time of a .357 is 1400 feet per second
  7. The most important rule in a gunfight is always win – cheat if necessary
  8. Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets.  You may get killed with your own gun, but he will have to beat you with it because it will be empty
  9. In a life or death situation, do something!  It may be wrong but do something!
  10. If you carry a gun, people may call you paranoid.  Nonsense!  If you carry a gun, what do you have to be paranoid about?
  11. You can say, “STOP!” in any language, but a large, bore muzzle pointed at someone’s head is pretty much universal
  12. You cannot save the planet, but you  may be able to save yourself and your family

Remember, when you are in a gunfight…

  • If you’re not shooting, you should be loading
  • If you’re not loading, you should be moving
  • If you’re not moving, you are dead