Tag Archives: marriage
Reading his mom’s thoughts, Anthony volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.”
“Well, I doubt it, but I’ll email her, just to be sure.”
I’m not saying that you “did” take the sugar bowl from my house ; I’m not saying that you “did not” take it.
Your Loving Son
I’m not saying that you “do” sleep with Maria, and I’m not saying that you “do not” sleep with her.
He then addressed the men.
1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours. – (Deut 21:11-13)
2. Find a prostitute and marry her. – (Hosea 1:1-3)
3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.- Moses (Ex 2:16-21)
4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. – Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)
5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. – Benjaminites (Jud 21:19-25)
6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you.-Adam (Gen 2:19-24)
7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman’s hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That’s right. Fourteen years of toil for a wife. – Jacob (Gen 29:15-30)
8. Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law’s enemies and get his daughter for a wife -David (I Samuel 18:27)
9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you’ll definitely find someone. (It’s all relative, of course.) – Cain (Gen 4:16-17)
10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. – Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)
11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, “I have seen a … woman; now get her for me.” If your parents question your decision, simply say, “Get her for me. She’s the one for me.” – Samson (Judges 14:1-3)
12. Kill any husband and take HIS wife (Prepare to lose four sons, though).-David (2 Samuel 11)
13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It’s not just a good idea; it’s the law.) – Onana and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)
14. Don’t be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. – Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)
15. A wife?…NOT? – Paul (1 Cor 7:32-35)
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
—Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
—Kirsten, age 10
What is the Right Age to Get Married?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
—Camille, age 10
No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
—Freddie, age 6
How Can a Stranger Tell if Two People Are Married?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
—Derrick, age not given
What Do You Think Your Mom and Dad Have in Common?
Both don’t want any more kids.
—Lori, age 8
What Do Most People Do On a Date?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
—Lynnette, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
—Martin, age 10
What Would You Do On a First Date That Was Turning Sour?
I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
—Craig, age 9
When Is It Okay to Kiss Someone?
When they’re rich.
—Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
—Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
—Howard, age 8