Tag Archives: jokes

the joys of motherhood….or…at least the animals got it right….

Motherhood .. defined as the kinship relation between an offspring and the mother. 

It can mean many things depending on our own experience.  Here are some photos that will put a lump in your throat…

Motherhood on a river bank..

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Mothers in the Artic..

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Motherhood in India ..

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Motherhood in Africa ..

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Even some mothering in the ocean ..

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And finally……motherhood near a neighborhood WalMart ..

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Leaves you a little speechless, doesn’t it?

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Papa and the tomato garden…

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An old gentleman lived  alone in New  Jersey .  He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as  the ground was hard.  His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in  prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his  predicament:

Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year.  I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.  I know if you were here, my troubles would be over.  I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me like in the old days.

Love, Papa

A few days later he  received a letter from his son.

Dear Papa,

Don’t dig up that garden.  That’s where the bodies are buried.

Love, Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next  morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without  finding any bodies.

They apologized to the  old man and left.. That same day the old man received another letter from his  son.

Dear Papa,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.  That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love you, Vinnie

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we interrupt your day for a blonde joke…..

A blonde and her husband were lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor’s dog. It had been in the back yard barking for hours and hours.

Finally, the blonde jumped up out of bed, said, “I’ve had enough of this” and went downstairs.

When the blonde finally came back up to bed, her husband asked, “The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?”

She replied, “I put the dog in our back yard. Let’s see how THEY like it!

Ok….don’t be hatin’……..I have blonde roots…….. 😉

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if looks could kill….

A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, ‘You’re beautiful.’ Then he fell asleep again. 

His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, ‘You’re cute..’

 The wife was disappointed because instead of ‘beautiful,’ it was now ‘cute.’ She asked, ‘What happened to beautiful?’ 

The man replied, ‘The drugs are wearing off.’

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the blonde moment…

Two blonds were sipping their Starbucks when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of sod.
“I’m going to do that when I win the lottery,” announced Blond #1.
“Do what?”, asked Blond #2.
“Send my lawn out to be mowed.”
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Speaking of coffee ………..I want you coffee drinkers to go to THIS website to get the BEST iced coffee recipe EVAH!!!
I made this last night, however in a much smaller quantity, and had it this morning with my super special cream recipe and it was fabulous.
The pioneer woman has many, many good recipes, but I’m loving her cold-brewed iced coffee.  Don’t let the size discourage you.  I made mine in a french press last night and strained it through coffee filters (about 3 times) and then placed the cold brew in the fridge overnight.  And as for my super special cream??  Yep, it’s awesome.
Take a can of fat-free evaporated milk and a can of fat-free sweetened condensed milk.  Mix.  Pour into a container.
Special, huh?
After your coffee has been in the fridge overnight, pour into glass filled with ice, halfway.  Now pour in your super special cream to the brim!  Stir!!  Oh my……that’s good….
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Depending on how much coffee you  make, your brew should last several days.  The cold-brew technique takes away any bitterness, just be patient with the filtering, as that takes a while!
Take THAT Starbucks!!!!!
ENJOY!!!

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dropping like flies…

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her Husband stalking around with a fly swatter
“What are you doing?” She asked.
“Hunting Flies” He responded.
“Oh. ! Killing any?” She asked.
“Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. “How can you tell them apart?”

 He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.

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on a lighter note……

Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner.
He lives with a female roommate, Maria.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty Anthony’s roommate is.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom’s thoughts, Anthony volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.”
About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver sugar bowl.  You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”

“Well, I doubt it, but I’ll email her, just to be sure.”

So he sat down and wrote an email:
Dear MaMa,
I’m not saying that you “did” take the sugar bowl from my house ; I’m not saying that you “did not” take it.
But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Your Loving Son
Anthony
Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his MaMa which read:
Dear son,
I’m not saying that you “do” sleep with Maria, and I’m not saying that you “do not” sleep with her.
But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.
Your Loving MaMa

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