Tag Archives: humor

Bubbles and more bubbles…

imageSo today finds me flying to Houston to hinder  help my parents move into their new digs. Literally in the air as we speak…thank you in-flight wifi.

It won’t be a long post because I have a delightful breakfast on the way. (Surely they can’t screw up oatmeal, right?)

Anywho..here’s my dilemma. Actually, there are two.

First of all, I have to go to the bathroom but the gentleman in front of me has leeeeeeaned his chair back so far, I am about 1 inch from a suspicious mole on his scalp. Second, the woman sitting across the aisle has a Kindle.  The pickle I’m in is this…she has a clear protective cover on the front and it has many bubbles. Not only are there zillions of bubbles, but the top corner is also coming unstuck. It is daring me to lean out into the aisle and set it free.

I can’t stop looking at that corner…It’s practically waving and mocking me.  And yes, I’m the girl, who,  if invited to your house and has a teeny bit of wallpaper coming loose…….well, you know what I would do, and I apologize in advance.

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So, I am going to try to wash down this oatmeal  and close my eyes.

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Pray she doesn’t go to the bathroom, because that cover is mine…

 

 

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how are you investing?

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For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.

Watch for these consolidations in 2014:

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.

3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!

And finally….

9. Victoria ‘s Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: TittyTittyBangBang

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the joys of motherhood….or…at least the animals got it right….

Motherhood .. defined as the kinship relation between an offspring and the mother. 

It can mean many things depending on our own experience.  Here are some photos that will put a lump in your throat…

Motherhood on a river bank..

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Mothers in the Artic..

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Motherhood in India ..

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Motherhood in Africa ..

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Even some mothering in the ocean ..

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And finally……motherhood near a neighborhood WalMart ..

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Leaves you a little speechless, doesn’t it?

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Papa and the tomato garden…

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An old gentleman lived  alone in New  Jersey .  He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as  the ground was hard.  His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in  prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his  predicament:

Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year.  I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.  I know if you were here, my troubles would be over.  I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me like in the old days.

Love, Papa

A few days later he  received a letter from his son.

Dear Papa,

Don’t dig up that garden.  That’s where the bodies are buried.

Love, Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next  morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without  finding any bodies.

They apologized to the  old man and left.. That same day the old man received another letter from his  son.

Dear Papa,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.  That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love you, Vinnie

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plumber of the year awards!

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Is it that time of year already?  Well, here are some great pictures of a great vocation……hard to say which one is my favorite!

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it’s all about priorities…..

pri·or·i·ty

noun \prī-ˈȯr-ə-tē, -ˈär-\     plural = pri·or·i·ties

: something given or meriting attention before competing alternatives….
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just give me 4 minutes to make you laugh….

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Ok, Ellen DeGeneres has told one of her writers to go to Costco and make some friends………but only use song lyrics!

This is such a cute video and will just take a few minutes…….Watch!!!

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