a wife’s diary VS a husband’s diary….oh how very different..

Wife’s Diary:
Tonight,  I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice  restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long,so I thought  he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.  Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we  could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much.
I asked him what was  wrong; He said, ‘Nothing..’ I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He  said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about  it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept  driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love  you, too.’
When we got  home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with  me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem  distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed.  About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted,  and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep. I cried. I don’t know what  to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.  My life is  now a disaster.
Husband’s Diary:
A five putt!  Who the heck five putts?


Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the
hands-free speaker function and begins to
talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: “Hello”
WOMAN: “Hi Honey, it’s me . Are you at the club?”
MAN: “Yes.”
WOMAN: “I’m at the shops now and
found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000.
Is it OK if I buy it?”
MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.”
WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and
saw the new models. I saw one I really liked.”
MAN: “How much?”
WOMAN: “$90,000.”
MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”
WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing. I was just talking to
Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is
back on the market. They’re asking $980,000 for it.”
MAN: “Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000.
They’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra
eighty-thousand if it’s what you really want.”
WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much!”
MAN: “Bye! I love you, too.”
The man hangs up.
The other men in the locker room are staring
at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
He turns and asks,
“Anyone know whose phone this is?”

his last game of golf…

Hi Sweetheart,
I am sorry about getting into an argument about putting up the Christmas lights.
I guess that sometimes I feel like you are pushing me too hard when you want something.
I realize that I was wrong and I am apologizing for being such a hard-headed guy.
All I want is for you to be happy and be able to enjoy the holiday season.
Nothing brightens the Christmas spirit like Christmas lights!
I took the time to hang the lights for you today and now I will be off to the golf course.
Again, I am very sorry for the way I acted yesterday.
I’ll be home later.
Love you…………..

the kind golfer….

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course.  One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.

He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says, “Wow!  That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen.  You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies, “Yeah…..well, we were married  35 years.”