how are you investing?

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For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.

Watch for these consolidations in 2014:

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.

3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!

And finally….

9. Victoria ‘s Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: TittyTittyBangBang

the joys of motherhood….or…at least the animals got it right….

Motherhood .. defined as the kinship relation between an offspring and the mother. 

It can mean many things depending on our own experience.  Here are some photos that will put a lump in your throat…

Motherhood on a river bank..

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Mothers in the Artic..

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Motherhood in India ..

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Motherhood in Africa ..

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Even some mothering in the ocean ..

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And finally……motherhood near a neighborhood WalMart ..

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Leaves you a little speechless, doesn’t it?

Papa and the tomato garden…

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An old gentleman lived  alone in New  Jersey .  He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as  the ground was hard.  His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in  prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his  predicament:

Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year.  I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.  I know if you were here, my troubles would be over.  I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me like in the old days.

Love, Papa

A few days later he  received a letter from his son.

Dear Papa,

Don’t dig up that garden.  That’s where the bodies are buried.

Love, Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next  morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without  finding any bodies.

They apologized to the  old man and left.. That same day the old man received another letter from his  son.

Dear Papa,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.  That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love you, Vinnie

it wasn’t school that little Johnny disliked…just the principal of it….

Little Johnny is at it again….

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad’s farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not ‘fascinating'”.

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word,  ‘fascinate.'”

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.

She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate”, so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her chest is so big she can only fasten eight.”

The teacher sat down and cried.