the death of common sense….

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend,Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
– Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
– Why the early bird gets the worm;
– Life isn’t always fair;
– and Maybe it was my fault. 
Common Sense

lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. 

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. 

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. 

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. 

Common Sense was preceded in death

by his parents, Truth and Trust,
by his wife, Discretion,
by his daughter, Responsibility,
and by his son, Reason.He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers

;
~I Know My Rights
~I Want It Now
~Someone Else Is To Blame

~I’m A Victim                                                                                                                             Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
   

the kind golfer….

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course.  One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.

He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says, “Wow!  That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen.  You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies, “Yeah…..well, we were married  35 years.”

the funeral…sad passing of Pop N. Fresh…

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeast infection.  He was 71.  Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years.  Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker and the Hostess Twinkies.  The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy…describing Fresh as a man who “never knew how much he was kneaded.”

Fresh rose quickly in business, but later in life his career was filled with many turnovers.  He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.  Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions.  Fresh is survived by his second wife.  They have two children and one in the oven.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.