more tips that make you feel stupid…

Have you seen those ideas on the internet that make you smack your head and say, “Why didn’t I think of that?”

Yep, me too.  These crafty tips will totally impress your friends and make you feel glad you have an internet connection. (via)

Let’s get started:

1.  Using toothpaste to hang a picture..

Place a small amount on the back of the picture frame exactly where you want the nail to go..

Once you’ve found the perfect place to hang your picture, press the picture against the wall so the toothpaste leaves a mark. Now, whack the hammer with a nail on the toothpaste spot.  VOILA! This is a great technique for hanging pictures in a straight row, or as a collage.

2.  Open a jar

Place a rubber band around the lid and another one around the jar.  POP!  It’s opened!

3.  Use a mason jar to store leftover wine

Make sure the wine overflows so the jar is completely filled and no air gets into the wine. It’ll store in the fridge for a week, by golly!

4.  Moving a heavy appliance

Spray Windex around and in front of the feet of the appliance you’re trying to move. It will slide much more easily.  (and works best on lineoleum or tile…not sure about hardwoods!)

5.  Keep the mice away!

Rodents are allergic to peppermint. Dab on cotton balls and place in area of infestation. Or, mix with water and pour into a spray bottle; spritz rodent-infested areas with the mixture.

6.  Zip!

1) Tie one end of a ribbon/string through the circular end of the safety pin, tying a knot to secure it in place. 2) Hook the safety pin through the hole in your zipper. 3) Use the string to pull the zipper up.

In the photo: there’s a product that does this, but you could easily make your own.

7.  Put on a bracelet.. by yourself!

It will  keep one end in place while you hook the clasp!

Tomorrow I will share more tips.  If I put them all in one post your head would explode. … and I don’t have a tip for that.

oh no…you’re DOING it wrong…

Who doesn’t love a newborn baby?  Yes, it’s true, they ARE sweet and smell good….however; do you know how to handle a baby?

I didn’t think so.

Thankfully the internet has provided us with some practical tips.  Please take note.

This WILL be on the test.

(via Pinterest and icanhasinternets.com)

is it just me or….

You know, there are some pretty bizarre stories out there on our world wide web….I have only managed to check out a few but just had to tell you.  And I thought I was strange…

For example, did you know that Angeles Duran owns the sun?  Hmm?  No?  You are so out of touch.  It seems that Ms. Duran, from Spain, has a presumed legal document showing that she, indeed, owns the sun.  You can read about it all right HERE.  And keep in mind that we are all subject to a fee when we step out…so…

Also, did you know you can finally immortalize your favorite cat by turning her cat hair into a handbag?  Yeah, that’s just another great way to show kitty you love her….you can learn all about that HERE.

And we all have been touched by the economy, haven’t we?  It’s just so stinkin’  hard to find a job.  You think YOU have it rough?  Well, these dears can’t even get their foot in the door and it’s just not fair.  Check them out HERE.  You will understand that some people certainly have a harder time than you..

Here is a little sample of their “issues”…

SO COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, MY FRIENDS!  AND….HAVE A GOOD DAY.

wednesday slang……

po-po\[by shortening; fr. F police, fr. LL Politia government, administration, fr. Gk politeia, fr. polites citizen: police, police officers, law enforcement “The Po-Po pulled me over for doing wheelies in my Volvo” — syn Po-Leece, Fuzz, One time, 5-0, Pigs, Boyz in Blue.

Realistic Style-Cocktail Party for an Office Staff

“In sum, my client was falsely accused by the po-po of jacking the family pet.”

monday slang…

props \props\n pl [by shortening of propers, fr. proper respects]  1: respect, proper respects “We should give teachers props in this country”  2: credit where credit is due “He may be dull, but I give him props for scientific achievement”  3:  praise, recognition —

“Hey mom!  Mad props on the thanksgiving dinner!”

slang for the weekend…

ai*ight or ah*ight \adj. [contraction of All Right] fr. ME, fr. OE 1: acceptable, agreeable “scrambled or sunny side up is aiight with me” 2: safe, healthy “My puppy’s aiight after her shots” 3: good, pleasing — often used as a generalized term of approval.

“I just want to return these, aiight? The others are off the hook.”

slang for the day…

front \FRENT\ vi front*ed; front*in or front*ing [ME, fr. OF, fr. L front, frons] 1.  to put on a false appearance, conceal under pretense, cover up, deny, lie “He fronted like he was royalaty”  2: to disrespect  3: to confront engage

“Don’t front like you’ve been flossing — gum disease tells the truth.”

slang for the day…

janky\ 1: undesirable, intensely repellent or unpleasant, esp. a person  “PEOPLE ON REALITY TV ARE OFTEN JANKY” 2: of inferior quality, worthless, not up to standards 3: junky, dilapidated 4: wierd, inappropriate 5: tacky, unstylish, badly put together – janked up tacky, messy, out of control.

“Do you smell her janky argyle socks?”

3 little ladies…

Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, “You know, I’m getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn’t remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down.”

The second lady says, “You think that’s bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn’t remember whether I was going to bed or had just woken up!”

The third lady smiles smugly. “Well, my memory’s just as good as it’s always been, knock wood.”

She raps the table. With a startled look on her face, she asks, “Who’s there?”

the fantastic voyage..

Well! I survived the seven mile kayak trip! There were two other people that had signed up and I asked them if they were killers, and they said, ‘no’.. so I grabbed my life jacket and we were off!

Our guide, Trevor, was about six feet tall with long dread-locks (I don’t know if that is spelled right, but I ‘dreaded’ smelling that in a downwind, so that is how I spell it).
He was an excellent guide and gave us all kinds of instructions before we started out. First he showed us how to hold the paddles correctly, which I silently laughed at, confident that I already knew how, until I accidently smacked Larry…which was Joan’s husband…in the leg. So I decided to listen a little more closely…

Next he had us sit down in the kayak to properly adjust the foot pedals. This meant that he had to reach through the little hole where my hips were wedged (BTW..did that kayak make me look fat?) anywho..our guide, Trevor has his arm inside the boat BETWIXT my legs grabbing my foot and placing it on the pedal. This would have been a lot easier if he had just said, ‘put your foot in the pedal, lady’…but he didn’t and I offered up no help of my own. C’mon…he’s the professional here. 😉

Next we had to climb out and put on, what the local kayakers call, the skirt. This keeps the water from splashing inside the little hole where my hips are wedged (note to self: do more cardio) and keeping my body dry. It wasn’t really my color palette, but I didn’t have any other choices, so I am now wearing this heavy canvas ‘skirt’ and still have to put on the life-jacket. Once the life-jacket was zipped, I thought to myself that this wasn’t too bad. Then, Trevor the guide said that I had not cinched all SIX straps…apparently I was thinking about my decision on bringing a day old egg salad sandwich when he was giving out life-jacket instructions. So now I’m cinched so very tight in my skirt and jacket and he proceeds to tell us that we can use the restroom next to the big rock…this would have been a great idea, if I could even walk. So, no potty for me.

We headed out in the water for our voyage at sea, and I was quite impressed with myself. There was definite gliding, people. I was paddling, using the pedals and moving right along when I glanced back and noticed that I was ‘gliding’ in the wrong direction. He should have never told me to travel in a southwesterly pattern. I got back with Larry and Joan, who by the way are big, fat cheaters, because there are TWO people paddling and I had to rely on my ferret like instincts, in case of an emergency…and I have proven to myself in the past to not be very reliable.

We got to Curtis Island to have lunch by the old, abandoned lighthouse. This is where Trevor the guide told us that he was going into the Peace Corps. I knew he was ‘edgy and dangerous’ because he was drinking a Mountain Dew. And, yes, I have seen those kids on that commercial and know what I’m talking about. Of course, I also broke away from tradition this morning by eating yogurt and granola…so…I’m kinda hip, too.

We put all our gear back on and fought the current back to the harbor…or as Sofia would say, ‘hah-bah’. All in all, it was a fantastic voyage at sea and would recommend it to anyone. My only advice is…if the guide needs to ‘adjust the pedals’…well…you be the judge…..