Aren’t you glad that we have Homeland Security? Yes, me too. BUT, here are a few ‘extra’ tips to help during a crisis….
If you have set yourself on fire, do not run.
If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.
If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder.
If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor.
If your building collapses, climb under your table and practice yoga postures.
After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.
If you’ve become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that.
Survive a biohazard attack by first standing, then begging on your knees, then rolling over and playing dead.