The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven..He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself.However, the gates are closed,and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, ‘Well, Forrest,it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you.I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast,and we have been administeringan entrance examination for everyone.The test is short, but you have topass it before you can get into Heaven.’
Forrest responds, ‘It sure is good to be here, St.. Peter, sir.But nobody ever told me about any entranceexam. I sure hope that the test ain’t too hard.Life was a big enough testas it was.’
St.. Peter continued, ‘Yes, Iknow, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.
First:What two days of the weekbegin with the letter T?
Second:How many seconds are there in a year?
Third:What is God’s first name?’
Forrest leaves to think the questions over.He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, andsays, ‘Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over,tell me your answers.’
Forrest replied, ‘Well, thefirst one — which two days in the week begins with the letter ‘T’?Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow..’
The Saint’s eyes opened wide andhe exclaimed, ‘Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you dohave a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you creditfor that answer. How about the next one?’ asked St. Peter.
‘How many seconds in a year?Now that one is harder,’ replied Forrest, ‘but I thunk and thunk aboutthat, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.’
Astounded, St. Peter said, ‘Twelve?Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven’s name could you come up with twelve secondsin a year?’
Forrest replied, ‘Shucks, there’sgot to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd… ‘
‘Hold it,’ interrupts St. Peter.‘I see where you are going with this, and I see your point,though that was not quite what I had in mind….but I will have to giveyou credit for that one, too.Let us go on with the third and final question.Can you tell me God’s first name’?
‘Sure,’ Forrest replied,‘it’s Andy.’
‘Andy?’ exclaimed an exasperatedand frustrated St Peter.
‘Ok, I can understand how youcame up with your answers to my first two questions,but just how in theworld did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?’
‘Shucks, that was the easiestone of all,’ Forrest replied. ‘I learnt it from the song,ANDY WALKS WITH ME,ANDY TALKS WITH ME,ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.’
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,and said: ‘Run, Forrest, run.’Thanks again, Rea!!!