social no no’s….or OMG, did you see what they did?

Well, we’ve all been there, and if you haven’t …..then you are lying.  We’ve all experienced moments where we had done something so unimaginably uncouth that you wish that time would stand still so  you could run home and get back into bed.

If your goal is to be fabulous, then you have to start behaving fabulously. This is not a difficult move on your part, but it is important to know how to behave in every situation.  Now some of these ‘secret’ faux pas might seem a little old fashioned and remind you of your spinster Aunt Helen, with her thin lips and tight bun..(I said, BUN, not BUNS)..  But they are still a good reminder for us so we can hold our head high and soar with the eagles!!  So whatever that means, I’m  just saying to get some freaking class.

Pointing….ok, nobody wants to be pointed at and it is in extremely bad taste, unless George Clooney drives by in his limo, rolls down the window and points at you.  That is different and that is awesome.  However, in real life, pointing should be reserved for the courtroom when you are pointing out the guilty party.

Smoking…please tell me you don’t go to someone’s home and light up.  First of all, it is gross.  Second of all, you’ve heard of cancer, right?  Smoking is SO last year and needs to be stopped for your own health and the health of others.  But if you feel you just HAVE to take a puff, do it outside and clean up after yourself.  And don’t think we don’t smell it on you….because we do.

Loud music…I know, you got the new Katy Perry CD and just popped it into your car stereo, but here’s a thought.  TURN IT DOWN.  I know you want us to think you are young and cool by rolling down your window so I have a chance to hear it also, but you don’t see me playing Andy Griffith’s Twentyfive Timeless Hymns out my car window, so let’s do stop and go traffic a big favor and roll up your window.

Cell phones…Wow.  Here’s a tricky one.  Keep your personal conversations that.  Personal.  Yes, it is crazy that you were so wasted last night, but when we are in an elevator….I don’t want to hear the details.  And when you are telling me an awesome story about the day you saved a busload of orphans….wait….I have to answer this call………I will walk away.  It’s rude to make the people you are with, second.  And I don’t like to be number two.

Arguing in Public….As entertaining as it might seem….this should be done at home.  You are not only surrendering your privacy but you are embarrassing yourself, your target, and me.  Sure, it does make for good table conversation later,  but hopefully I will have other things to talk about than” how you are such a lying loser”.

Talking with your mouth full of food…Ok, we’ve all done this, as nasty as it is.  But try to be aware that something could possibly fall out, and then what do you do?  Just give a little signal that the taffy is stuck in your teeth and you’ll answer the question in just a sec.

Your scent….Just because Aunt Helen gave you a lovely set of Classic Car Cologne, from Avon, in a lovely green Chevrolet decanter, does NOT mean you should bathe in it.  Tone down the pheromones, just a tad.  A little bit goes a looooong way and can be offensive to people who are allergic to strong fragrances.  Save those bold aura’s for your spouse.

Leaning back in your chair…I’m sure that in a restaurant, under correct back lighting, this could make you look really cool and distant.  But how cool is it when the server walks by and smacks your head with his tray and you fall backward?  Yeah, just sit up.

Ok…..I’ve been a little picky in these areas and will stop now before I totally over criticize.  I just want this to be a better place.  I think that life is to be enjoyed…..by everyone.  Manners are universal.  And a smile can go a long, long way.

So be considerate…and remember…..it’s so simple to be wise.  Just think of something stupid to say, and then don’t say it.

You might have to refer to my previous post on airplane etiquette…go ahead…..it’s ok……And as for the queen???  She just needs to leave that bat in the cave…..

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